Let's talk about sex, baby. And I'm not talking about that watered down "birds-and-the-bees" mess. I mean I wanna get dirty, so dirty you cringe. Thats right, I'm talking I wanna drop the words "penis" and "vagina"...a lot...just 'cause I can. Sit back fools, and read on only if you can handle it. Because right now I'm fully about to enforce my first amendment rights. Penis and vagina.

For all of you females out there, listen up. I am about to share with you the second carnal rule of sex (the first rule, of course, is that black girls do it better): sex ruins everything. I know, you've heard this before, but I am about to share exactly why (sorry fellas).

Girls, the day you put out is the day that, in his eyes, you are officially a hoe. Its simple math, really. He sees that ass, he tries to get that ass, he conquers that ass, and now that ass goes in the hoe box. And let me tell you, once you are forgotten, that hoe box becomes a dark, lonely, cold place. You can give it up all you want, just make sure in return you get at least one of the following: gifts or commitment. See, I am a realist, I like to map out things, predict the future, and i reallllllly like statistics. According to missthemess.com, over 60 percent of women ages 18-25 have sex with their partner before they are in an established relationship. Look, I am not asking you to pledge celibacy here, I'm asking you to make sure you put that cat on lock until you get everything you want.

Think about it. Everything ever done--ever--in the history of man, has been done in the hopes that a man will get some ass. Everything ever invented or created was simply because a man thought that somewhere someone was going to give him some ass for it. Egyptian pyramids, space travel, toothpicks--all to get some ass. So, accepting this reality, we understand that once that man gets that ass he has conquered all there is to conquer. Oh, he doesn't like commitment? Then he must not like that ass. Oh, but it's our forth date? Where's my present. Either I want some gifts or some commitment. 'Said gifts ...or commitment. Gifts or commitment = penis + vagina. 'Cause once hes roughed/itched/tapped that ass without giving either one of those things, then girl, you can get nice and cozy in that hoe box. Use it don't abuse it ladies, and remember...black girls do it better.

Gabby Wooden is a sassy bad ass high schooler who ain't afraid to speak her mind and strut her stuff. Check out her blog at saffirerain.blogspot.com.